Attachment Therapy Homework Sheets

Between-session homework in attachment work has a well-known failure mode: the client arrives having thought about it a great deal and having recorded nothing, so the session is spent reconstructing the fortnight from memory. Memory reconstructs a mood. The incidents that would have been most useful are exactly the ones that get smoothed over.

These four sheets are built to produce material rather than reflection. Each captures something at the time it happens, in a form short enough to be completed while it is happening, and each is designed so that the therapist opens the session with data instead of an impression. They are free to print and use with clients, and they are not a treatment protocol — they are capture instruments.

Who this worksheet is for

Therapists and counsellors who want structured attachment homework, and clients who want to bring something concrete to the next session.

Download the free PDF ↓

Free, printable, no email required. Prints on A4 or Letter.

Notes for practitioners

Assign one sheet, not four. The most reliable predictor of homework being completed is that it takes under three minutes and there is only one of it. Four sheets handed over at once returns four blank sheets.

The sheets capture; they do not process. Each is designed so that a client can complete it while activated or shortly afterwards, which means no interpretation is asked for. Interpretation belongs in the room and asking for it on paper is what makes homework feel like a test.

Set the frequency explicitly. "Whenever it happens" produces nothing. "Every time you notice X, and at least twice before we next meet" produces something, and two entries is genuinely enough to work with.

Expect the first round to be inaccurate and say so in advance. Clients frequently record what they think they should have felt. Naming that possibility before they start tends to prevent it, and normalises the second attempt.

The four sheets

Each prints on one side. The PDF includes six copies of each, for photocopying or handing out.

Sheet 1: The incident capture

Five fields, completed within an hour.

Time, the observable event, the first bodily change, the first thought verbatim, what was done. Nothing else, and specifically no field for what it meant — that is the session’s work. The verbatim thought is the field that earns its place: clients almost always paraphrase their own cognitions upward into something more reasonable when recounting them later, and the unedited version is frequently the most useful line in the fortnight.

Prompts

  • Time and observable event:
  • First bodily change:
  • First thought, in the exact words it arrived in:
  • What I did next:

Sheet 2: The urge-and-gap record

What was wanted, what was done, and how long between.

For any attachment-driven urge — to contact, to withdraw, to check, to test — record the urge, the gap before acting, and the action. This produces the one number that tracks well across a course of therapy and that clients can see moving: the gap. It also separates two things that get conflated in the room, namely how strong the urges are and how much they are governing behaviour, which frequently move independently.

Prompts

  • The urge, in a few words:
  • Strength, 1–10:
  • Gap between urge and action:
  • What I did, and what I did instead of the urge if anything:

Sheet 3: The relational event log

For couples work, or for a client working on one relationship.

One line per notable interaction: what the other person did, what you did, and how it ended. No motives on either side. Over a fortnight this produces the shape of the cycle far more reliably than either person’s account of it, and it does so without requiring anyone to concede anything — which is what makes it usable in couples work where the accounts are contested.

Prompts

  • What they did:
  • What I did:
  • How it ended:
  • Was this a version of something familiar? One word.

Sheet 4: The between-session experiment

One behaviour, one time, and what actually happened.

Agreed in session: a specific behaviour, tried once, with a written prediction beforehand. Make one direct request. Stay thirty seconds past the exit point. Send nothing for two hours. The prediction is the part that matters, because attachment beliefs are largely predictive — "if I ask, they will resent it" — and the only thing that reliably shifts a prediction is a written record of it being wrong. Predictions recalled after the fact are quietly revised.

Prompts

  • The experiment, agreed in session:
  • My prediction, written before:
  • What actually happened:
  • How far off was the prediction, and in which direction?

Using the sheets across a course of work

A rough sequence that tends to work.

Sheet 1 early, while the pattern is still being described rather than worked on. Sheet 2 once the pattern is agreed and the target is behaviour. Sheet 3 when the work becomes relational, or from the start in couples work. Sheet 4 last, because behavioural experiments need a formulation to test. This is a rough order rather than a protocol, and running sheet 1 again near the end gives a reasonable before-and-after that clients find more convincing than their own sense of progress.

Prompts

  • Which sheet is assigned this fortnight, and why:
  • How many entries are we asking for?
  • What we expect it to show:
  • What would change our formulation if it appeared?

Terms of use

These sheets are free to print, photocopy and distribute to clients, students and supervisees. No permission or attribution is required and there is no charge. Please do not resell them or present them as your own materials.

They are capture instruments, not an assessment and not a treatment model. They assume a practitioner is holding the formulation, and they are not a substitute for training, supervision or clinical judgement. For a client-facing explanation of the four patterns, the psychoeducation handout is written for exactly that purpose.

For clients who want to explore between sessions

The free quiz is an informal self-reflection tool rather than a measure, and it is worth framing it that way when pointing a client at it.

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Attachment Therapy Homework Worksheet: FAQ

Are these attachment therapy worksheets free to use with clients?
Yes, freely and at no cost. Print, photocopy and hand them out to clients, students or supervisees without needing permission or providing attribution. Please do not resell them.
How many should I assign at once?
One. The strongest predictor of homework being completed is that it takes under three minutes and there is only one of it. Four sheets issued together generally come back blank.
What if the client does not complete it?
That is usually information rather than resistance — most often the sheet was too long, the frequency was vague, or it asked for interpretation rather than capture. Reducing it to two entries and one field frequently solves it.
Can I use these without a therapist?
Yes, though they are thinner on their own because they deliberately capture rather than interpret. If you are working alone, the trigger, journal-prompt and tracker sheets on this site are built for self-directed use and will feel less like homework with no lesson.

Worksheets for the other styles

  • Anxious Attachment worksheet You re-read messages looking for tone changes, feel panic when replies slow down, or find yourself doing things to get reassurance that you later wish you had not done.
  • Avoidant Attachment worksheet You need space when things get close, go quiet under conflict, find faults in partners as intimacy grows, or feel relief when plans get cancelled.
  • Fearful-Avoidant Attachment worksheet You crave closeness then feel trapped by it, end relationships you wanted, or feel like two different people depending on the week.
  • Secure Attachment worksheet You came out secure and want to know what to keep doing, or you are building earned security and want the target described in behaviour rather than adjectives.

Worksheets by situation

Or go back to all free attachment worksheets, including the one-page cheat sheet covering all four styles.

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