What's My Attachment Style? Free Quiz
Your attachment style shapes how you love, fight, and connect. Take our free attachment style quiz to discover if you're secure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful-avoidant — in just 5 minutes.
Take the Free Quiz →Based on the ECR-R framework · Takes 5 minutes · No sign-up required
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How It Works
Take the Quiz
Answer 20 research-based questions about how you think, feel, and behave in relationships. Takes just 5 minutes.
Get Your Result
Discover whether you're secure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful-avoidant — with a detailed breakdown of your attachment patterns.
Start Healing
Access personalised guides, scenarios, and healing strategies based on your specific attachment style.
What Are Attachment Styles?
Attachment theory, developed by psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, explains how the bonds you formed with your caregivers as a child shape how you approach relationships as an adult. There are four main attachment styles, and understanding yours can transform how you relate to partners, friends, and family.
Secure Attachment
You feel comfortable with intimacy and independence
~50-60% of adults
Anxious Attachment
You crave closeness but fear abandonment
~20% of adults
Avoidant Attachment
You value independence and find closeness uncomfortable
~25% of adults
Fearful-Avoidant Attachment
You want closeness but also fear it
~3-5% of adults
What's Your Attachment Style?
Take our free 5-minute quiz to discover your attachment style and get personalised insights.
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Our Book
What's My Attachment Style?
The complete guide to understanding your attachment patterns and building healthier relationships.
Attachment Compatibility
How different attachment styles interact in relationships
Anxious + Avoidant
ChallengingThe most common insecure pairing. The anxious partner pursues while the avoidant partner withdraws, creating an intensifying cycle.
Anxious + Secure
PromisingA secure partner can help an anxious partner feel safe enough to develop earned security over time.
Anxious + Anxious
IntenseBoth partners crave closeness, which can feel wonderful — but mutual anxiety can amplify fears.
Avoidant + Secure
PromisingA secure partner can provide the space an avoidant needs while modelling healthy vulnerability.
Avoidant + Avoidant
DistantBoth partners value independence, which can work — but emotional intimacy may never develop.
Fearful-Avoidant + Anxious
VolatileAn intensely emotional pairing where both partners' worst fears can be triggered.
Can You Change Your Attachment Style?
Yes. Research shows 25-30% of people shift their style over a 4-year period.
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Style Comparisons
Anxious vs avoidant, FA vs BPD, and more side-by-side guides.
Free Worksheets
Printable PDFs for healing anxious, avoidant, and FA attachment.
Blog
Fresh articles on attachment, relationships, and healing.
Find the Right Therapist
How to find a therapist who specialises in attachment issues.
Embed Our Quiz
Add our free quiz to your website. Perfect for therapists.
About Attachment Theory
Attachment theory is one of the most well-researched areas of psychology, with over 50 years of scientific evidence. Originally developed to understand the bond between infants and their caregivers, it has since been expanded to explain how adults form and maintain romantic relationships.
The core insight is simple: the way your primary caregiver responded to your needs as an infant created a blueprint — an internal working model — for how you expect relationships to work. If your caregiver was consistently responsive, you likely developed a secure attachment. If they were inconsistent, dismissive, or frightening, you may have developed one of the three insecure styles.
The good news is that attachment styles are not fixed. Through self-awareness, healthy relationships, and sometimes therapy, anyone can move toward a more secure attachment style. This process is called developing “earned security.”
What Is My Attachment Style?
If you're asking “what is my attachment style?” you're already taking the first step toward healthier relationships. Your attachment style is the pattern of how you connect with others — how you handle closeness, conflict, and emotional vulnerability.
Most people fall into one of four attachment styles:
- Secure attachment (50-60% of people) — You feel comfortable with intimacy and independence. You communicate needs openly and trust your partner.
- Anxious attachment (20% of people) — You crave closeness but worry about being abandoned. You might over-text, seek constant reassurance, or feel anxious when your partner needs space.
- Avoidant attachment (25% of people) — You value independence and feel uncomfortable with too much closeness. You might pull away when things get serious or struggle to express emotions.
- Fearful-avoidant attachment (3-5% of people) — You want love but fear it. You might oscillate between pursuing your partner intensely and withdrawing completely.
The fastest way to discover your attachment style is to take our free attachment style quiz. It's based on the ECR-R framework used by therapists and researchers, and gives you an instant result with personalised guidance.
What People Are Saying
“This quiz was scarily accurate. I finally understand why I always push people away when things get serious. The healing guide gave me real steps I could start using straight away.”
“I've taken loads of attachment quizzes online but this one actually explained the WHY behind my patterns. The worksheet exercises helped me see my triggers so clearly.”
“My partner and I both took the quiz and it completely changed how we communicate. We finally understand each other's needs instead of arguing about the same things.”
“I was sceptical at first but the compatibility guide was spot on. It explained exactly why my anxious-avoidant relationship felt so exhausting and what we could both do differently.”
“The 7-day email course was brilliant. Each day built on the last and by the end I had actual tools to manage my attachment anxiety. Genuinely grateful for this resource.”
“As a therapist, I recommend this quiz to many of my clients. It's well-researched and the results page gives actionable insights without being overwhelming.”
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