Understand Your Attachment Style
Your attachment style shapes how you love, fight, and connect. Discover yours in 5 minutes and start building healthier relationships.
Take the Free Quiz →Based on the ECR-R framework · Takes 5 minutes · No sign-up required
What Are Attachment Styles?
Attachment theory, developed by psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, explains how the bonds you formed with your caregivers as a child shape how you approach relationships as an adult. There are four main attachment styles, and understanding yours can transform how you relate to partners, friends, and family.
Secure Attachment
You feel comfortable with intimacy and independence
~50-60% of adults
Anxious Attachment
You crave closeness but fear abandonment
~20% of adults
Avoidant Attachment
You value independence and find closeness uncomfortable
~25% of adults
Fearful-Avoidant Attachment
You want closeness but also fear it
~3-5% of adults
What's Your Attachment Style?
Take our free 5-minute quiz to discover your attachment style and get personalised insights.
Take the Free Quiz →Common Attachment Scenarios
Real situations where attachment styles play out
Anxious Attachment When He Doesn't Text Back
Why not getting a text triggers your anxious attachment and what to do about it.
Anxious Attachment After a Breakup
How anxious attachment makes breakups feel unbearable and how to cope.
Anxious Attachment In Long Distance Relationships
Managing anxious attachment when your partner is far away.
Anxious Attachment In a New Relationship
Why new relationships trigger anxious attachment and how to stay grounded.
Anxious Attachment When Your Partner Needs Space
How to manage the panic when your partner asks for alone time.
Anxious Attachment After an Argument
Why arguments feel catastrophic with anxious attachment.
Anxious Attachment and Jealousy
Understanding why jealousy is so intense with anxious attachment.
Anxious Attachment and Overthinking
Breaking the cycle of anxious overthinking in relationships.
Anxious Attachment and People Pleasing
How anxious attachment drives people-pleasing behaviour.
Anxious Attachment and Codependency
The link between anxious attachment and codependent patterns.
Our Book
What's My Attachment Style?
The complete guide to understanding your attachment patterns and building healthier relationships.
Attachment Compatibility
How different attachment styles interact in relationships
Anxious + Avoidant
ChallengingThe most common insecure pairing. The anxious partner pursues while the avoidant partner withdraws, creating an intensifying cycle.
Anxious + Secure
PromisingA secure partner can help an anxious partner feel safe enough to develop earned security over time.
Anxious + Anxious
IntenseBoth partners crave closeness, which can feel wonderful — but mutual anxiety can amplify fears.
Avoidant + Secure
PromisingA secure partner can provide the space an avoidant needs while modelling healthy vulnerability.
Avoidant + Avoidant
DistantBoth partners value independence, which can work — but emotional intimacy may never develop.
Fearful-Avoidant + Anxious
VolatileAn intensely emotional pairing where both partners' worst fears can be triggered.
Can You Change Your Attachment Style?
Yes. Research shows 25-30% of people shift their style over a 4-year period.
Explore More
Zodiac × Attachment
How your star sign shapes your attachment style. 48 combinations.
MBTI × Attachment
Personality meets attachment theory. 64 unique combinations.
Style Comparisons
Anxious vs avoidant, FA vs BPD, and more side-by-side guides.
Free Worksheets
Printable PDFs for healing anxious, avoidant, and FA attachment.
Blog
Fresh articles on attachment, relationships, and healing.
Embed Our Quiz
Add our free quiz to your website. Perfect for therapists.
About Attachment Theory
Attachment theory is one of the most well-researched areas of psychology, with over 50 years of scientific evidence. Originally developed to understand the bond between infants and their caregivers, it has since been expanded to explain how adults form and maintain romantic relationships.
The core insight is simple: the way your primary caregiver responded to your needs as an infant created a blueprint — an internal working model — for how you expect relationships to work. If your caregiver was consistently responsive, you likely developed a secure attachment. If they were inconsistent, dismissive, or frightening, you may have developed one of the three insecure styles.
The good news is that attachment styles are not fixed. Through self-awareness, healthy relationships, and sometimes therapy, anyone can move toward a more secure attachment style. This process is called developing “earned security.”