Self-Soothing Plan (Printable)

Worksheets for the other styles

• Anxious Attachment worksheet — You re-read messages looking for tone changes, feel panic when replies slow down, or find yourself doing things to get reassurance that you later wish you had not done.
• Avoidant Attachment worksheet — You need space when things get close, go quiet under conflict, find faults in partners as intimacy grows, or feel relief when plans get cancelled.
• Fearful-Avoidant Attachment worksheet — You crave closeness then feel trapped by it, end relationships you wanted, or feel like two different people depending on the week.
• Secure Attachment worksheet — You came out secure and want to know what to keep doing, or you are building earned security and want the target described in behaviour rather than adjectives.

Worksheets by situation

• The 8-week anxious attachment healing plan — You already know you have an anxious pattern, you have read the explanations, and what you are missing is an order of operations you can actually follow.
• Attachment triggers worksheet — You keep having the same fight, or you react strongly to things that seem small afterwards and want to know what specifically is firing.
• Attachment journal prompts — You want to write about your patterns but either end up spiralling or end up staring at a blank page wondering what you are supposed to say.
• Couples attachment worksheet — You are having the same argument repeatedly, in the same shape, and both of you can predict it from the first two sentences.
• Attachment styles handout for therapists — You are a therapist, counsellor, coach or student who wants a printable attachment handout for clients, or a client who would like the plain-language version to read between sessions.
• Healing avoidant attachment (8-week workbook) — You have read the explanations of avoidant attachment, recognised yourself, and still have no idea what to actually do on a Tuesday evening when your partner wants to talk.
• Healing fearful-avoidant attachment (workbook) — You want closeness intensely and then find it unbearable, sometimes within the same day, and you have stopped trusting your own read on what you want.
• Printable attachment style self-assessment — You want to work this out on paper rather than on a screen, or you are a practitioner who wants something printable to go through with a client.
• One-page attachment styles comparison chart — You keep re-reading four separate descriptions and losing track of which one you were comparing, or you want something a partner will actually look at.
• Deactivation plan (what to do while it is happening) — You shut down and cannot talk when it matters most, or you are living with someone who does and the silence is doing more damage than the argument did.
• No contact plan (a structured 30 days) — You have decided on a period of no contact and keep breaking it in small ways you then have to argue yourself out of feeling bad about.
• Breakup recovery plan (30 days, by pattern) — The relationship has ended and you are going over it constantly, or not going over it at all in a way that is starting to worry you.
• Pursue-withdraw cycle breaker — One of you chases the conversation and one of you needs it to stop, and you have both explained this to each other many times without anything changing.
• Early dating worksheet (first 90 days) — You keep ending up in the same kind of situation and would like to notice it happening this time, rather than in hindsight.
• Boundaries worksheet (setting and holding them) — You have read about boundaries, agreed with all of it, and still cannot work out what to actually say on Thursday evening.
• Conflict repair worksheet (after an argument) — You resolve arguments by waiting until they stop mattering, and you have noticed the list of subjects you both avoid getting longer.
• Family of origin timeline worksheet — You recognise your pattern and want to understand where it came from without turning it into a case against your parents.
• Weekly practice tracker (photocopy and reuse) — You have done the reading and some of the exercises and have no idea whether any of it is working.
• Setback plan (for the bad week after a good month) — You have made real progress before and lost it, and the losing is what stops you starting again.
• Between-session therapy homework sheets — Therapists and counsellors who want structured attachment homework, and clients who want to bring something concrete to the next session.
• Printable conversation cards (cut out and use) — You want to talk about how you each handle closeness and every attempt to start it has felt like opening a case.
• Needs inventory and non-negotiables — You know something is missing and everything you come up with sounds either too small to mention or too much to ask.
• Attachment at work worksheet — A short message from your manager can take your whole afternoon, or you handle everything alone until it is too late to ask.
• Parenting worksheet (your pattern, their security) — You have recognised your own attachment pattern and would rather not hand it on, and you are not sure which of your reactions are about them.
• Texting worksheet (the waiting, not their replies) — A delayed reply can take your evening, or you leave people waiting for days and have never really looked at why.
• Monthly relationship check-in (a repeatable ritual) — Things are broadly fine and you would like them to stay that way, or you have noticed that everything gets raised at once during arguments.
• Friendship worksheet (the non-romantic version) — Your friendships keep fading without anything happening, or you are always the one who arranges things and have started to resent it.

Or go back to all free attachment worksheets, including the one-page cheat sheet covering all four styles.