The Anxious-Avoidant Breakup Cycle

Why anxious-avoidant couples keep breaking up and getting back together. Understanding how your attachment style interacts with this specific situation can help you recognise your patterns and respond more intentionally.

Why This Triggers Your Attachment Style

When you have your attachment style, certain situations activate your attachment system more intensely than others. Breakup Cycle is one of those triggers because it touches on your core fears and needs in relationships.

What You Might Be Feeling

• Heightened emotional reactivity
• Difficulty thinking clearly or rationally
• Strong urge to act on impulse
• Physical tension or discomfort
• Preoccupation with the situation

What To Do

1. Pause and recognise that your attachment system has been activated.
2. Take a few deep breaths and ground yourself in the present moment.
3. Ask yourself: 'What am I actually afraid of right now?'
4. Communicate your needs clearly rather than acting on impulse.
5. Remember that this feeling is temporary and will pass.

When This Is Part of a Bigger Pattern

If you find yourself repeatedly triggered by this situation, consider exploring it with a therapist who understands attachment theory. Patterns that repeat are patterns worth understanding.