Best Attachment Style Books

Our curated reading list for understanding attachment theory and building secure relationships.

OUR PICK

What's My Attachment Style?

The complete guide with quiz, exercises, and 30-day programme

Our Book

The companion book to this website. Includes an in-depth attachment assessment, communication scripts for every situation, healing exercises for each style, and a structured 30-day programme for developing earned security.

Best for: Everyone — whether you're just discovering attachment theory or ready to do the deep work

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More Recommended Reading

Attached

by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

Start Here

The most popular introduction to attachment theory in relationships.

Best for: Everyone new to attachment theory

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Hold Me Tight

by Dr. Sue Johnson

For Couples

The foundational text on Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples.

Best for: Couples wanting to strengthen their bond

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Polysecure

by Jessica Fern

Unique

Applies attachment theory to non-monogamous relationships.

Best for: Those exploring non-monogamous relationships

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Wired for Love

by Stan Tatkin

Science-Based

A neuroscience-based approach to understanding partner behaviour.

Best for: Science-minded readers

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The Body Keeps the Score

by Bessel van der Kolk

For FA/Trauma

Essential for understanding how early experiences live in the body.

Best for: Those with trauma history

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Insecure in Love

by Leslie Becker-Phelps

For Anxious

A workbook-style guide for people with anxious attachment.

Best for: Anxiously attached readers

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Avoidant

by Jeb Kinnison

For Avoidant

One of the few books focused specifically on avoidant attachment.

Best for: Avoidant readers or their partners

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A Secure Base

by John Bowlby

Classic

Written by the father of attachment theory himself.

Best for: Academic foundations

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Frequently Asked Questions

What are the best books on attachment theory for beginners?▼
The best introductory books are "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller for an accessible overview, "What's My Attachment Style?" by Thea Calloway for a practical self-help guide with exercises, and "Hold Me Tight" by Sue Johnson for understanding attachment in couples. All three are research-based but written for general readers.
What is the best book for anxious attachment?▼
For anxious attachment specifically, "Attached" by Levine and Heller provides excellent insight into the anxious pattern. "What's My Attachment Style?" by Thea Calloway includes dedicated chapters on anxious attachment with practical healing exercises. For a deeper therapeutic approach, "Insecure in Love" by Leslie Becker-Phelps is highly recommended.
What is the best book for avoidant attachment?▼
"Attached" covers avoidant attachment well from an overview perspective. For a deeper dive, look for books on emotional availability and vulnerability in relationships. "What's My Attachment Style?" includes specific chapters on avoidant deactivating strategies and practical steps for opening up emotionally.
Are attachment style books worth reading?▼
Yes, understanding your attachment style is one of the most impactful things you can do for your relationships. Research shows that self-awareness of attachment patterns is the first step toward change, and well-written attachment books provide practical frameworks that can be applied immediately to improve how you relate to others.

What's Your Attachment Style?

Take our free 5-minute quiz to discover your attachment style and get personalised insights.

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